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Over and over again I tried to stop

ImageThere is a drug and alcohol problem within this country that rivals all the success in the world. Countless victims fall prey to its devastation every day. The death toll in this country alone is staggering as addiction can be a silent killer too those of us who suffer from addiction do so in absolute secrecy.

I remember thinking that it could never happen to me. That I, the successful wife, mother, business owner and all around good girl, would never be a drug addict. I looked at those who did suffer with a critical eye and often times wondered "why" and quietly whispered "that will never be me". I was wrong!

My name is Holly Conklin and throughout my life I have been many things, not the least of which was a drug addict. I never thought that in my 30’s I would fight the battle of a lifetime and struggle with a debilitating addiction to drugs. What I didn’t realize is that I had been struggling with it for years. You see, even the most successful people can and do suffer from addiction. Most addicts are amazingly adept at hiding the problem, that is, until it takes over your life and rips it to shreds, leaving in its wake the devastating destruction that is your life. Addiction affects mothers, fathers, children, siblings, parents and countless others who only want to see you survive.

As addicts, we have an innate desire for sobriety. So many times it is just outside our reach and even though we try, overcoming a serious addiction in a world so geared towards drugs can elude us for years. Outsiders looking in on our lives, astonished by what we have become scratch their heads in wonder. And we don’t even see it coming. Methamphetamine is one of the most difficult drugs to overcome and in combination with other drugs getting your life back seems impossible.
I was addicted to Methamphetamine. I lost my marriage, my children, my business, my freedom and nearly my life. Over and over again I tried to stop. Even with support of family and friends, doing it alone is not an option. Most treatment centers totally defeat a person on the way in the door with statements like "once and addict, always an addict", "you’re powerless over your addiction" and "this will be a struggle for the rest of your life, take it one day at a time." I didn’t want to be an addict anymore.

I consider myself very lucky. I have a family that loves me. I have an older brother who was not willing to give up on me. I have children who needed their mother and parents who were willing to try again after so many failed attempts.

My brother contacted a woman by the name of Dena Boman at Narconon Arrowhead. She explained the life cycle and mechanics of addiction so that he could understand what was happening to me and explain it to my parents. She told him that the program was such that I could complete it and return to a normal life. She told him that I didn’t have to struggle with addiction anymore. That I could be saved. And even though my family had their doubts, they decided that I was worth saving. They decided to try yet again to save the girl who was hidden behind a wall of severe addiction.

Dena Boman knew that she was saving my life. She knew that I could be successful. She doesn’t see an addict when she looks at people who are addicted. I struggle for words that can adequately describe what happened to me through that program. Simply put, my life has changed so drastically I sometimes wake up in shock at the happiness and satisfaction that I feel. People who meet my children are astonished at the relationship we have. You can see in their faces how proud of me they are. It’s amazing how they don’t hold my addiction against me. They brag about what I have overcome. They have become crusaders for kids who suffer like they did. They offer my help to anyone who needs it. My life with them that was so ruined by drugs is now the most amazing experience I could ever imagine. I didn’t think I could ever live a life without drugs. I was wrong. That program saved my life and, in essence, theirs.

After completing the program I became a counselor and work to help save the lives of others. Yes, I am that girl. I have no fear of addiction. About a year and a half ago, I became an Intervention Specialist. I have dedicated my life to helping people who can’t see their way out get the help they need. I offer my hand as someone who has been through the most difficult time and say "let me help you." And they do. In 2006 I opened my own intervention company called Angel Intervention and I have been able to assist over 100 people in getting their loved ones into Narconon Centers around the world.

I hope you will let us help you. You can contact the Narconon Arrowhead Program at (800) 468-6933 and speak with a counselor. The person that you love can have a healthy, happy, productive life. I know, because I have been that person.

Holly Conklin
Narconon Arrowhead Graduate January 5, 2005
Story written March 2008

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